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RampantRamblings
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Name: Bonster
Gender: Female
Interests: My Friends! Dirt Forts, Tree Houses, Pond Scum, Dragonflys, Painting, Cooking, Plants & Gardens.
Expertise: Dancing the side step, leaping lizards in a single bound, brushing pets, summersaults, laughing.
Occupation: Informal Reference Desk
Industry: Water
Message: message me
Member Since:
6/26/2005
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| God was missing for six days. Eventually,
Michael, the archangel, found him,
resting on the seventh day..
He inquired, "Where have you been?"
God smiled deeply and proudly pointed
downwards through the clouds, "Look,
Michael. Look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked
puzzled, and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God, "and
I've put life on it. I'm going to call
it Earth and it's going to be a place
to test Balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, "I'm
still confused."
God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth.
"For example, northern Europe will be a place
of great opportunity and wealth, while southern
Europe is going to be poor. Over here I've placed
a continent of white people, and over there is
a continent of black people. Balance in all things."
God continued pointing to different countries.
"This one will be extremely hot, while this one
will be very cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel , impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area
and said, "What's that one?"
"That's the State of Maryland, the most glorious
place on earth. There are beautiful mountains,
rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, and
plains. The people from the State of Maryland
are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent,
and humorous, and they are going to travel
the world. They will be extremely sociable,
hardworking, high achieving, carriers
of peace, and producers of good things."
Michael gasped in
wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what
about balance, God? You said
there would be balance..."
God smiled, "Right next to Maryland is Washington DC.
Wait till you see the idiots I put there." 
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| A man was sunbathing naked at the beach.
For the sake of civility, and to keep it from
getting sunburned, he had a hat over his privates.
A woman walks past and says, snickering,
"If you were a gentleman you'd lift your hat."
He raised an eyebrow and replied,
"If you were better looking it would lift itself." 
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| So, you think you know where you stand, politically. Think again. The result from this short test may surprise you and give you some food for thought.You'll be asked just 10 questions, and then it instantly tells you where you stand politically. It shows your position as a red dot on a "political map" so you'll see exactly where you score. The most interesting thing about the Quiz is that it goes beyond the Democrat, Republican, and Independent. The Quiz has gotten a lot of praise. The Washington Post said it has "gained respect as a valid measure of a person's political leanings." The Fraser Institute said it's "a fast, fun, and accurate assessment of a person's overall political views." Suite University said it is the "most concise and accurate political quiz out there." Click on the link below... | | |
| I was so depressed last night
thinking about the economy,
government health care,
real estate prices,
the stock market,
the federal deficit, Iraq,
Afghanistan,
global warming,
my savings,
Social Security,
credit card debt,
unemployment... (sigh)
I called the Suicide Hotline.
I got a call center in Pakistan and told them I was suicidal. They got all excited and asked if
I could drive a truck. 
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